


The Journey Home

by HopeXStarWars



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Belonging, Dyad Bond, F/M, Family, First Kiss, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Home, Peace, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24100894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeXStarWars/pseuds/HopeXStarWars
Summary: Ben Solo has always been trying to find a home, with the Skywalker/Solo clan and its legacy. Amongst his fellow Jedi students. Within the First Order, As the Master of the Knights of Ren and Snoke’s apprentice.But all that changed once Rey entered his life, she challenged him and made him question everything. He found true connection and belonging with her along their shared journey.This is Ben Solo’s journey home, to one he never expected to find ....
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	The Journey Home

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a very long rambling fic about Ben’s thought process and journey home. He discusses his journey with Rey, feelings through all three films. His family, the legacy he bears, Vader, Snoke & Sidious’s manipulation and that both he and Rey are truly the pawns of ghosts from the past. But by standing together as one, they are more powerful than anything. - sorry I just had a lot of feeling this evening that resulted in this. 
> 
> The fic does follow the events of all three films pretty closely, including TROS but I decided to end it at a very specific point. Because I truly believe the dyad belongs together and that that is the will of the force. Rey and Ben were fated to stand together in so many ways not just romantically.
> 
> I hope you enjoy 💕 and thanks for reading.

Ben Solo had spent all his life trying to find his ‘home’, when he was a child he had a happy home with his parents, but they weren’t there much of the time. And he had voices in his head - filling his ears with poison, lies and manipulating him right from the start. 

He tried to build a home at Luke’s training temple, he hoped being around other force sensitives would help him feel accepted and part of a bigger community. Many rejected him, jealous of his natural affinity to the force, his family name etc. But not all he did have one friend, Tai but he’s long dead now. 

He tried to find belonging amongst the First Order, to be a symbol of the regime’s power and might - Snoke’s loyal enforcer and his perfect instrument. Just as his grandfather had been for the Emperor. He truly believed this was his destiny, his birthright, and where he belonged. 

His family had all abandoned him, lied to him all his life, how could he have gone back to them, after everything that had passed. They had never understood nor accepted him, only the Supreme Leader and the Knights of Ren did. And so Ben Solo donned the persona and mask of ‘Kylo Ren’ and tried to turn away from the light and make a home within the darkness. 

And then the girl came bursting into his life, like a ship entering hyperspace. The Supreme Leader had given Ren a vital task - to find and eliminate Luke Skywalker. He would truly kill his past, end the Jedi and help bring true order to the galaxy. All he had to do was find the map, which was hidden within a Resistance BB unit. The droid escaped their forces on the dustball Jakku and was added by a Scavenger girl and a Traitor. 

Ben had first met Rey during the battle of Takodana, she had added the droid in yet another escape and engaged his forces in the forest. He found her and realised that he know her somehow, her presence was familiar, warm even then. Rey had seen the map to Skywalker and Ben decided the droid was no longer necessary, that the scavenger could give them the information. 

He had learned of Rey’s force abilities during an interrogation session on board Starkiller Base, and he immediately knew that she would make for a powerful ally, and a great student. He could teach her the ways of the force, the true ways of the force. Not the dogmatic and narrow-minded philosophies of the Jedi Order. Ones that Luke had wrongly tried to instil in the next generation of Jedi. As master and apprentice they would be unstoppable. 

Rey however had very different ideas, escaping from her cell and attempted to flee with FN-2287, Chewie and his father. Ben is still haunted and guilt ridden by the events that took place on that bridge. He truly believed that to leave his past behind, he had to kill it. The deed did him no good, and fractured his spirit. Rey then defeated him in combat, during which he saw her affinity for the force, both the light and the dark. She was viscous, rabid and mesmerising all at once. 

It was in that moment that his grandfather’s saber answered her call, that Ben had known their destinies were bound in some crucial way, but he wasn’t sure how. Once their force bond had taken shape and the two began to connect across the stars, and truly talking to each other instead of mindlessly fighting. Ben truly began to see the person Rey was, compassionate, kind, lonely, desperately seeking belonging and family. He certainly knew how that felt. 

As time went on Rey became more willing to listen to his side of history, the events at Luke’s temple and so one. And when it mattered most, she came to him, sharing her past and her deepest fears with him. Ben was deeply moved by what he heard and was felt this all consuming need to comfort this girl, his rival in the force - who had somehow seemingly taken his place. Would have possibly become his father’s ship mate, was trying to become his uncle’s new apprentice and was sent on this mission by his mother’s beloved ‘Resistance’. 

None of that mattered, he needed to let her know that she wasn’t alone, not anymore. Rey had been quick to return the sentiment. This pulled at something deep within his fractured soul, and in that moment Ben had a revelation. This connection between them meant more than he’d ever realised, it changed everything. Whatever the force had in store for them, they were meant to face it together. These thoughts were solidified by the vision he had once the two touched hands. He saw them, ruling side by side as equal rulers - just, honourable and beloved. They would find their home together. 

He was gripped with fear for Rey as she was left to face an angered Skywalker alone, Sith knows where in the galaxy, and there was no way he could help her. Just like no one had helped him that fateful night years ago. Ben had felt so relieved and joyous when Rey told him she was coming to him, everything the force had shown him would soon come to pass. They would stand together when the moment arrives, they’d never be betrayed, abandoned or alone again. 

He had been utterly consumed with rage, fear and pain as he bared witness to Snoke torturing her, he’d been in her position so many times. He had taken the abuse, both mentally and emotionally believing it was necessary to make himself stronger, more powerful. But hearing her scream, suspended in the air as the vile deformed creature who sat the throne tore through her mind. It was too much to bear. 

Snoke thought he still controlled Kylo Ren - that he knew his every intent. No those days were gone, Snoke’s rule was at an end. There was no way in the galaxy he could ever kill Rey, no matter what happened and instead he seized the moment and executed Snoke. The creature who at the time Ben believed to be his lifelong tormentor - he now knows that Snoke was just a puppet of Darth Sidious who once again spent years orchestrating the downfall of the Republic from the shadows. And once again preyed upon an powerful and impressionable Young Skywalker. 

After their victory against Snoke’s Praetorian Guards, he had believed that this was the moment his vision would come to fruition, Rey would join him at together they would right the wrongs of this galaxy. Bring order and justice to all planets under their dominion, together they would be invincible. He had through that revealing her past would help her decision, that she would truly see they were equals and meant to find home together - whatever shape that would take. 

Sadly this didn’t happen and the two became adversaries once more, all be it conflicted ones. Rey reuturned to the Resistance, saving the few survivors from Crait as he faces Skywalker. And then everything was silent and they were alone once more. He tried many times to bridge the connection between them but never reached her. Rey’s powers continued to grow under the tutelage of his mother - which was something he never saw coming. Senator Leia Organa taking an apprentice. 

During this one period of isolation and separation from Rey, he’d thrown himself into the business of ruling the galaxy, expanding First Order territory and trying to hunt down the Resistance. He no longer heard the voices of Snoke or Vader call to him, he was truly alone. Then the most unexpected voice called out to the galaxy, Darth Sidious .... 

“The work of generations is completed, the great error has finally been corrected and this day of victory is upon us my friends. The day the Sith finally take their revenge”. 

Ben followed rumours of Sith artifacts and legends to the place his grandfather chose to base himself on. Mustafar, a desolate, bleak planet where sycophants worshiped Vader’s memory. He had cut down all who stood in his path, he had to find Sidious and destroy him, only then would his rule be secure. And he could return his attention to finding Rey and bringing her to his side.

He still knew the force had brought them together for a reason and he had to understand why their connection is different to any other he’s shared with fellow force sensitives in the past. Through hours of research and combing both the ancient Jedi and Imperail archives he had found his answer, they are a dyad in the force. They obviously had the ability to connect across time and space. But within the force they are one. If they were to stand together, united- no power would be a match for them. 

This revelation also confirmed something else for Ben, they were indeed meant to join as one - it was the will of the force and he knew that his vision would still come to pass.  
But first he had to defeat Sidous. And then he could turn his attention to find Rey. However instead of slaying the dark lord, Sidious revealed some shocking truths to him, about Rey and everything became clearer still. They are meant to finally bring balance to the force - the children of the light and the dark - TOGETHER. 

Ben then used their connection to find Rey’s location first on Pasaana - where he captures Chewbacca and forces her to give into her anger. He then used the bond to track her and her team to Kimiji where they duel via the bond and he discovers she’s boarded his flagship ‘ The Streadfast’. He rushed back to discover her attempting to escape, he revealed all he knew of their connection and her past to Rey in that hanger and once again implored her to join him. 

Together they’d defeat Sidious taking revenge for both their families and putting an end to the dark lord once and for all. It would take the power of their bond - United as one to do so. But Rey once again rejects his hand and flees to the remains to the second Death Star hoping to find another beacon to Exogol. Kylo caught up with her once again and insists that the only way she’s going to the Sith Citadel is with him. The force told him that if she went alone, she would lose everything, maybe even her life . He couldn’t let that happen, and so he destroyed the holocron. 

Rey’s rage forces the two to duel once again, and it changes everything. Once again he only tried to defend himself, refusing to directly attack her - he knows he could never truly harm her. But Rey is blinded by anger, sorrow and a thirst for revenge. Feelings he knows all too well. What he didn't expect to happen was for his mother to finally bridge a connection with him and reach out, pleading for him to stop and to come home once again. 

‘Home’ what did that word even mean, there was no way he could return to Leia’s side not after everything that had happened, as he had told Rey in the decaying Throne Room. His father had also begged him to come ‘home’ on Starkiller. 

Ben felt his mother fade from the force, and in the same moment he felt Rey stab him with his own lightsaber. The pain of this wound had been nothing compared to the pain tearing his soul apart. His mother was gone, he was now truly alone in the universe. He looks at Rey to find her as shocked and broken as him, her Master has died - Leia was gone. He’d fallen back onto the cold damp remains of the Death Star, and waited to succumb to his wound. 

What he hadn’t expected was for Rey to kneel beside him, and to heal him with the force, and in that moment of shared pain and grief - their bond thrown wide open. Rey also admitted to him that she had wanted to take his hand that day in Snoke’s throne room - Ben’s hand. And just like that she leaves him once more, processing everything that’s just happened. He is left stranded on Ker Bif after she takes his TIE, Ben tired to reach out to her and once again found tight mental shields. She’d cut herself off once more. 

As he tried to plan his next move, who appeared to him but his father, Han Solo was not force sensitive in any way. So he guessed that this had been his subconscious speaking to him, or maybe not. The force is a continuous and every evolving mystery. The two Solo’s discussed Leia, her cause - the battle against the rising darkness in the galaxy. His father told him that Kylo Ren was dead, that his son Ben lived and that he knew exactly what to do. And he knew in that moment that Han was right, the shadow of Kylo has finally lifted from him. 

Ben disposed of his lightsaber (in hindsight not the smartest move) and then raced to Exogol, managing to find a functioning Imperial TIE. He’d hot wired the ship - a trick learnt from travels with his father and Chewie.

And raced to Exogol, Han had been right about many times indeed, Snoke’s manipulation, his mother’s cause not being over - the fight goes on and he senses the most important battle grows ever closer. Han was also right - Ben knew exactly what he had to do now - stand with Rey against Sidious. Defeat the dark lord and save the galaxy from what is to come. 

He arrived to the Sith planet in the midst of a giant battle between the Sith fleet and the few remaining Resistance ships. Ben could tell that the rebels are in trouble but he couldn’t help them. He had to get to Rey, and help her, Ben faced off against the Sith Sentinals and his own Knights. 

He knelt bloodied and weaponless in the dirt as the bond finally connected, and the scene before him sent a chill through Ben. Rey stood before Sidious in the Throne Room, preparing to slay the dark lord and complete a Sith ritual. NO !! This couldn’t happen. 

Rey’s eyes are fixed on Ben taking a few precious seconds as one. “You’re not alone” Ben sent to her as she nods towards him. “Neither are you” she replied. This is it - the moment Ben had foreseen over the fire in Rey’s hut. Now they would stand together as one, bringing balance to the force. 

Rey uses the bond to give Ben the reforged Skywalker Saber. It was fitting that the weapon built by Padawan Anakin, and passed down to Luke would now be used by the last Skywalker to defeat his family’s greatest enemy and the greatest threat to the galaxy. Ben dispatches the knights quickly and joined Rey before the Throne. 

Finally they were together, Sidious brought the pair to their knees and drained the life force of their precious and fabled bond. Leaving both Rey and Ben weakened, Ben had turned to check on Rey - she had to be safe, she had to live. And in that moment he found the strength to rise before Sidious and he tried to call upon his saber to vanquish the Sith once and for all. 

Unfortunately Sidious had regained his powers and froze Ben in mid air, and in a show of Supreme pettiness and revenge. He threw Ben down a cavern, just as Anakin Skywalker had done, killing Sidious in the process. 

Ben had been severely injured during his fall, but he was more worried about Rey. Now facing Sidious alone, he could sense the swell of the light side around her. He begged for them to help her and for once the force listened to their pleas. As huge pulses of dark energy and lighting filled the air - Ben had begun his climb to the surface. Which was agonising, and then he felt it. 

Rey’s life force vanished, fading just as his mother’s had. He felt his soul being ripped in two, and he was fuelled by the determination to protect her as he continued his climb. Once he’d reached the throne room Ben was shocked by the scene, Sith Destroyers were plummeting to the planet surface, the Sith cultists buried under the fallen ceiling and the Emperor - Gone. 

But none of this mattered once his eyes fell upon a tiny body slumped in the dirt, sabers lying beside her motionless form. Ben limped towards her before the pain overwhelmed him both physically and emotionally, and he crawled to her side. 

This was his worst nightmare come to fruition, for all his talk of destroying the Jedi and the Resistance, he’d never wanted to hurt Rey, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. And now she lay in his arms growing cold. Her face and eyes expressionless and vacant. 

No this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, he’d come to her, they stood together. He’d finally found his home with her. And he had hoped she felt the same, and now she was gone. Ben had glanced desperately into the shadows and called into the silence of the force for help. 

She’d sacrificed everything to save the galaxy, truly been a pawn in the battle long waged between the light and the dark, Jedi and Sith. Just as he had been and now after everything they were abandoned once more by their elders. He’d felt a stab of anger and hatred to the Jedi who had used her, did they care so little that they would not come to her aid, save her in this desperate moment. 

Ben looks down at her bloodied and broken body, this is not the way it’s supposed to be. The dyad cannot survive with their bondmate, he can feel part of his soul missing and growing colder. But then he felt the smallest spark of life call out to him from within Rey. Hope wasn’t lost yet, and just as Han said before Ben knew exactly what to do. 

Ben had brought Rey to his chest, holding her close just one time. He realised that he had been wrong about so many things in his life, and made the wrong choices. He had been manipulated, abused and abandoned and give himself to anger, resentment and darkness. Until Rey had shown him there was always another choice, another path. And he had finally taken it. 

Yes, Ben Solo realised that now, Rey was his home, his light and he didn’t care what happens now. This is the right path, with her, always. And with that Ben Solo closed his eyes and focused on the force within himself, resting his hand upon Rey’s abdomen - he felt the living force flow through him and pass into Rey. He prayed to anyone who’d listen that this works and he feels elated when he feels a small hand pass on his own. 

Ben Solo opens his eyes to find a confused and shocked Rey lying in his arms, Ben takes a deep breath and helps her rise from the floor. She’s smiling up at him now holding his hand still and his other runs through her hair. He is speechless, gazing at her as Rey processes what has happened, they’ve won, and they’re together. 

“Ben” Rey says as she beams at him and he nods, yes it’s him, he's here. And with that Rey hesitantly moves towards him, her hand faintly touching his cheek, his ear and running through his waves. And before he knows that’s happening Rey is kissing him, it is warm, peaceful. And in that moment Ben Solo finally feels whole, safe and at peace. After a brief time she pulls alway to once again smile at him, Ben returns it along with a signature Solo chuckle. 

Yes ... he thinks to himself ... yes he is home and he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
